When it rains...

..it pours.   Last week was beautiful, Josh decided to clean the garage.  I was cleaning the house and taking the kids to see a play.  Just a normal weekend really.  Josh decided to tear the wall between the two garages, someone years earlier had built a 1/2 wall, not weight bearing or anything, so it should have been easy, right?? 

I got a call from josh to come home that he needed my help.  This is Josh...he never, ever asks for help.    So I rush home, pull into the garage and see from the front of my house...the back of my house... The back wall of the garage was gone!  Rotted apparently... Josh found the culprit to the rotting.  A gutter hadn't been hooked correctly and rain had drained down Cregans window and down the garage.  The wood and window had to be replaced, as well as siding and insulation...ugh... So like I said when it rains, it literally pours...in my house.

 

Great sadness

I have known great sadness in my life.  The loss of two of my sisters before turning 20, the loss of my parents before turning 30.   With such sadness at so young, I have always found it hard to cry in my life now.  I'm not opposed to crying, I just felt 'all cried out' per say.  That was ofcouse before a couple of weeks ago. 

A couple of weeks ago, I realized that my boy was sick, and not something I could fix with a bandaid and a kiss.  But sick in his mind, he was diagnosed with depression and sent to stay with strangers for further evaluation while I, him mom, the person that adored him could only visit him for 15 minutes a day.  

My heart felt like it was breaking the first night I left him, I literally felt heart pain, my chest tightened and I couldn't breath, tears stung my eyes and I couldn't make them stop.  Each day I visited and each day I felt the same loss of my heart upon leaving.  I cried myself to sleep at night, I cried while doing laundry, while driving, showering, everywhere and all the time.  

After what seemed like an eternity for me and more than likely for him as well, my heart, my son was discharged and brought home.  My husband and I now take turns sleeping in the same room with him each night.  We have taken our recliner in there so that we can be comfortable and he can be safe.  His journey of recovery and understanding about depression will be a long road.  One that is more than likely going to have a lot of hills and valleys, but we all will persevere, because I now know, I'd never known great sadness until the day I almost thought I'd lost my child. 

I've learned a few things...

Raising 3 boys, I have learned a few things:

1.  The volume of a house of boys is infinetly louder than a house of girls or even a mixer of boys and girls.  I don't know the exact reason for this, but when boys speak, they do so to be heard.  So, imagine all 3 speaking at once, one louder than the next and you'll get the idea.  

2.  I can put no value on anything.  As a mom of boys, I decided long ago to either not pull out anything I don't mind being broken or lost and to not put too much value on items that can't be put away.  Children are rough on toys, clothing and shoes but boys are rough on everything.  They jump off couches and beds, they run into side tables and desks, they drop laptops, and break mirrors.  This is my life...ever replacing or salvaging items around the house. 

3.  Tape works for most things.  I have learned tape is all purpose, you can tape up the chair legs that someone broke, or tape the back of the remote control so the back doesn't keep popping off.  I have even taped up shoes before, just because I refused to buy new shoes one more time that school year with only 1 week to go...so tape to the rescue! 

4.  Fighting isnt really fighting.  Growing up with sisters, we could be catty and say nasty things to eachother but fighting (physically) never happened.  In a house of boys, fighting is an everyday occurrence.  Head locks and slapping someone across the head, even a punch is usually all done before breakfast.   This isn't generally fighting, as much as it's more of a bonding, brotherly exchange.  Real fights do happen of course, but boys are always "beating eachother up."

5.  Weeds may grow slower than boys.  Boys eat and they eat ALOT. They are in a constant state of being hungry and you want to know why?  It's because they are growing ALL THE TIME.   My advice for children of young boys, don't buy any back to school clothes for you children until the week or days before... Why?  Because they may or probably will outgrow the clothing and shoes before school even starts.  Pants are forever getting too small or too short.   I have limits on how many shoes I'll buy in a school year, I just do, I know it sounds mean, but 4 is my limit, if school ends and you have outgrown your 4th pair of shoes, you will be squeezing into them until summer... 

6.   Boys love their mama.  I have no doubt that for this brief moment in time, that I'm the center of my youngest child's world, the complete love and adoration you get as a mom from your boys (that is until they discover girls) is amazing.  They snuggle and give the best hugs.  They hold your hand and tell you the best stories.  

Being a mom to 3 boys isn't without its challenges, however the priceless memories I have overshadow the constant noise, and broken house I live in today.  

Winter...again

It's that time of year again, you know the time I hate so much... Winter!  I hate that we have to wear layers of clothes, I'm not advocating wearing skimpy Daisy Dukes or anything, but when you live up north in winter months, you are wearing gloves, hats, scarves, undershirts, sweaters, fur lined boots and jackets.  And, no, I'm not exaggerating.   And when you finally get your car warmed up enough to go somewhere and get to the place you got bundled up for, you have to spend 5 minutes removing all the above mentioned items or else take the chance of burning up, and even then you may be sweating because stores and jobs have their heat so high to compensate for the frigid temperatures outside.  

How I miss flip flops and sundresses.... Not to knock all the people that love winter, my husband and boys are included in that, but I long for warmer weather, longer days, and the simplicity of just walking outside getting in my car and leaving with out all the time and trouble that I have to deal with during these months...

Wonder Woman

You ever feel like you are literally doing it ALL...?  All the bills, the laundry, the dishes, the bathrooms, the dinners, the appointments, the homework, the bedtime rituals, the sweeping, the vacuuming, the prayers, the nagging, the grocery shopping, the dusting, the organizing and you even work to boot...   I sometimes feel like that, and I don't think I'm alone.   My kids will wait hours for me to come home from work, met me at the door to tell me how hungry they are and ask me to make them something to eat.  Last week, my son refused to get himself a glass of milk, choosing to go thirsty over making the cup himself.   

But I have this constant feeling like I'm failing in some way, ALL THE TIME.  If I'm not spending time with the kids, I'm a horrible mother.  If I'm not cleaning my house and making a great dinner, I'm a horrible wife.  If I'm not working full time or at least picking up hours for others who ask, I'm a horrible coworker.  But those things don't make me a horrible person and I absolutely know I can't do it all, and frankly I DON'T WANNA!   I don't want to be a door mat and I don't want to feel like one either.  

So I resolve to be a Wonder Woman to myself some, to allow myself to relax a little, to spend quality time with my kids and husband but not time spent in servitude to them.  And most importantly to let go of the idea that I'm somehow horrible if I can't do it all.   After all, Wonder Woman was a fictional character.

  

Valentine day boxes

I love making Valentine boxes with the kids, especially since the light to the end of the valentines era is rapidly approaching!  Cregan's last Valentine's in elementary was this year, which means NO MORE BOXES for him.  Next year it's all about middle school and growing up and ugh (stop the train, I wanna get off), teen years.  So this year I made a special box for my special boy.  He loves Star Wars right now, thanks to the origami Yoda series, so I made an R2D2 box I found on Pinterest.     For Collin this year, we HAD to make Emmett from the Lego Movie, which he every word by hear. 

Metal mouth

We have known for a while that Clayton would need braces and finally the day had come.  I was nervous for him, and he was too (although he'd never admit it).  He chose blue braces and already his teeth are looking straighter and even.  He had an under bite and a front tooth that went behind the bottom teeth.  It's amazing to see the transformation and it's only been 6 weeks.  

For Heavens sake

My blogging has become non existent lately, which is sad really because as a family we completely love going back and reading out blog posts.  So I hope to do a good job of back tracking the summer of 2014 and the fall of 2014 at least give the highlights anyway. 

Vacations - This year was the first year we didn't take a big vacation.  It wasn't too difficult because we took several little trips during the summer, and really we have a pool.  It's a vacation in my backyard.   But we did make a couple of trips, we went to the zoo when Julie, Bryan and Avery came to visit.  The boys got a real kick out of me being terrified of Dinosaur Island, and we all enjoyed the new exhibit in the Safari. 

We also visited Kirkland this year when Julie was here.  We have lived in Ohio for over 10 years now and haven't visited this beautiful place yet.  Kirkland is special in my faith because that's where the first temple was built, where Joseph Smith lived for a short time, where the school of prophets was.  It was a wonderful experience to take the boys to.  Cregan even got to read in the room of the school of prophets.  Also while we were on the Whitney tour, Julie noticed someone from across the room and whispers, I think that's Maury's sister (an college friend).  And of course it was!   She and her family were visiting from Chicago and lo and behold they happened to be in our tour group.  This happens to Julie ALL THE TIME!  She will go all over the world and meet up with someone she knows.  It's her gift, I suppose. 

Right before school started, I decided to take the boys on an impromptu trip to Niagara Falls.  And my good friend Amber (who is ALWAYS up for travel) and her kids came with us.  We had a great time visiting the Canadian Niagara and the US side.  Ofcourse the boys were like, this is all?  can we go play the Ipad now?  But after some convincing, we went into town on the Canadian side and went to Rainforest Cafe, and an arcade and walked back late to the car and got to see the Falls lite up which was amazing too.  When they get a little older, I'd like to take them back and take the ships, but they didn't seem interested this time.

Collin's Baptism

My youngest baby got baptized this year.  It's hard to believe that he old enough to be baptized, in my eyes and probably forever it will be this way, he is my baby.  My sweet, little boy who gives the best snuggles and cuddles.

But none the less, he turned 8 and his Papa baptized him into the 

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and I was unbelievably happy. 

Kayla conducted the music, and Tanya played the piano.  Megan Atwood gave the talk of baptism and Rachael gave the talk on the Holy Ghost.  Zack and Scott were the witnesses.  It was a wonderful day for me, and of course because I have my boys, a funny one.  Cregan made sure to explain that Collin was going to be PERFECT right after baptism and that he would have NO SINS.  As soon as he was baptized and they were getting out of the font, Collin dives down and swims to the stairs (this isn't that big of a font, like the size of a jacuzzi) but none the less, he swims and we are all laughing and Cregan says loud enough to get a snicker, well there's his first sin, NOT PERFECT anymore... 

But you know what, he is PERFECT to me...

Last day of school

The last day of school is always filled with such excitement and this year is no exception.  The kids woke up early and were ready to go well before the buses got there so instead of waiting for the bus, I piled them all up and took them to Tim Horton's for donuts (sugar them up) and chocolate milk!   Once at school, I started the arrangements for the after school party!  I was just so excited!  Silly string, water blasters and all kinds of treats later, the kids finally got home and got to run through their Welcome to Summer 2014 sign and have a pool party!