Changes

It was a usual day, nothing spectacular or unexceptional, I just always like to look at my realtor app and see what houses are in my price range...and dream.    And because historically we have found land that josh loves and houses that I did not love and vice versa, I was shocked to come across this beautiful home sitting on a gorgeous peace of property.   I showed Josh and he was interested, he said lets go check this out.   I figured the house would already be gone because they had just dropped the home in our price range, I agreed that maybe we should.  Well given the green light, Josh just flew, he got on the phone and got prequalified for the home, got a realtor and within the week we were parked in the parking lot!  And the house was as beautiful as the pictures and the land even more so.  We put a bid in the next day!  We are at a month later now and we can't wait to move into our forever home.  The boys have already started school in the new district and we are all packed just waiting for closing....  Just goes to show extraordinary things can happen at anytime, even when you aren't expecting them!

Texas

This summer Josh and his dad took Clayton and Cregan to visit his Uncle Robert.  His uncle lives on a 675 acre ranch in the middle of Texas, there's literally nothing man made around for miles.  They shot guns and looked for animals, especially rattle snakes; they watched the sunset and rise.  It was as relaxing as it was adventurous.   

Time hop

I have an app called time hop, it tells me what I put on social media 1,2,3 and on years ago, found this post of a conversation between me and Clayton, it makes me giggle reading it again today.   It's my insane life and I love it, boys are exhausting and demanding but also loving and incredibly sweet, sometimes.... 

Another school year gone

And just like that we are at the end of school year 2016 and starting summer!  This year was Claytons last year in middle school, and Cregans first in middle school, Collin had finished 3rd grade and is getting so big.  

As we have no pool this year, wouldn't you know it was the hottest day, in contrast to last year and the cold, sweater wearing party we had.  But even without the party we had a wonderful time!  I got a slip and slide and invited Amber and her crew over and we had a blast, grilled hotdogs, got wet, and all sugared up!  

WELCOME TO SUMMERTIME!!

My modern day fear

Not many things scare me anymore.  Don't get me wrong, I still have a healthy fear of the zombie apocalypse however I can walk outside in the middle of the night and not be running aimlessly scared someone is going to grab me as I was when I was younger.  

My new fear, isn't one that is tangible.  I can't define it in one way or another except my fear now is that something is going to happen to my boys.   You know when your kids are babies and every possible scenario goes through your head?  'Oh they may choke on that!'  Or remember the fear when they went to the bathroom publicly for the first time and you watch everyone going in and time how long it should be and at what point you are bursting through the bathroom doors no matter what..!    This really can't be just me, other have to know what it's like too...right?

I thought when they get older this fear will go away, but if anything the fear has increased, because now I'm less in control of the factors of their lives...  In a year my oldest will be driving, and then there's a whole new set of intense fear.

I still fear someone will hurt them, physically or otherwise.  My love for them knows no bounds, as well as this fear that I will see them hurt.    The world is a cruel, dangerous place and at age 18 we are throwing our children to the wolves...not necessarily...but...

The rational side of me knows they will be ok but the protective motherly side of me says, what's wrong with sheltering them until they are 50!?