When it rains...

..it pours.   Last week was beautiful, Josh decided to clean the garage.  I was cleaning the house and taking the kids to see a play.  Just a normal weekend really.  Josh decided to tear the wall between the two garages, someone years earlier had built a 1/2 wall, not weight bearing or anything, so it should have been easy, right?? 

I got a call from josh to come home that he needed my help.  This is Josh...he never, ever asks for help.    So I rush home, pull into the garage and see from the front of my house...the back of my house... The back wall of the garage was gone!  Rotted apparently... Josh found the culprit to the rotting.  A gutter hadn't been hooked correctly and rain had drained down Cregans window and down the garage.  The wood and window had to be replaced, as well as siding and insulation...ugh... So like I said when it rains, it literally pours...in my house.

 

Great sadness

I have known great sadness in my life.  The loss of two of my sisters before turning 20, the loss of my parents before turning 30.   With such sadness at so young, I have always found it hard to cry in my life now.  I'm not opposed to crying, I just felt 'all cried out' per say.  That was ofcouse before a couple of weeks ago. 

A couple of weeks ago, I realized that my boy was sick, and not something I could fix with a bandaid and a kiss.  But sick in his mind, he was diagnosed with depression and sent to stay with strangers for further evaluation while I, him mom, the person that adored him could only visit him for 15 minutes a day.  

My heart felt like it was breaking the first night I left him, I literally felt heart pain, my chest tightened and I couldn't breath, tears stung my eyes and I couldn't make them stop.  Each day I visited and each day I felt the same loss of my heart upon leaving.  I cried myself to sleep at night, I cried while doing laundry, while driving, showering, everywhere and all the time.  

After what seemed like an eternity for me and more than likely for him as well, my heart, my son was discharged and brought home.  My husband and I now take turns sleeping in the same room with him each night.  We have taken our recliner in there so that we can be comfortable and he can be safe.  His journey of recovery and understanding about depression will be a long road.  One that is more than likely going to have a lot of hills and valleys, but we all will persevere, because I now know, I'd never known great sadness until the day I almost thought I'd lost my child. 

I've learned a few things...

Raising 3 boys, I have learned a few things:

1.  The volume of a house of boys is infinetly louder than a house of girls or even a mixer of boys and girls.  I don't know the exact reason for this, but when boys speak, they do so to be heard.  So, imagine all 3 speaking at once, one louder than the next and you'll get the idea.  

2.  I can put no value on anything.  As a mom of boys, I decided long ago to either not pull out anything I don't mind being broken or lost and to not put too much value on items that can't be put away.  Children are rough on toys, clothing and shoes but boys are rough on everything.  They jump off couches and beds, they run into side tables and desks, they drop laptops, and break mirrors.  This is my life...ever replacing or salvaging items around the house. 

3.  Tape works for most things.  I have learned tape is all purpose, you can tape up the chair legs that someone broke, or tape the back of the remote control so the back doesn't keep popping off.  I have even taped up shoes before, just because I refused to buy new shoes one more time that school year with only 1 week to go...so tape to the rescue! 

4.  Fighting isnt really fighting.  Growing up with sisters, we could be catty and say nasty things to eachother but fighting (physically) never happened.  In a house of boys, fighting is an everyday occurrence.  Head locks and slapping someone across the head, even a punch is usually all done before breakfast.   This isn't generally fighting, as much as it's more of a bonding, brotherly exchange.  Real fights do happen of course, but boys are always "beating eachother up."

5.  Weeds may grow slower than boys.  Boys eat and they eat ALOT. They are in a constant state of being hungry and you want to know why?  It's because they are growing ALL THE TIME.   My advice for children of young boys, don't buy any back to school clothes for you children until the week or days before... Why?  Because they may or probably will outgrow the clothing and shoes before school even starts.  Pants are forever getting too small or too short.   I have limits on how many shoes I'll buy in a school year, I just do, I know it sounds mean, but 4 is my limit, if school ends and you have outgrown your 4th pair of shoes, you will be squeezing into them until summer... 

6.   Boys love their mama.  I have no doubt that for this brief moment in time, that I'm the center of my youngest child's world, the complete love and adoration you get as a mom from your boys (that is until they discover girls) is amazing.  They snuggle and give the best hugs.  They hold your hand and tell you the best stories.  

Being a mom to 3 boys isn't without its challenges, however the priceless memories I have overshadow the constant noise, and broken house I live in today.