My modern day fear

Not many things scare me anymore.  Don't get me wrong, I still have a healthy fear of the zombie apocalypse however I can walk outside in the middle of the night and not be running aimlessly scared someone is going to grab me as I was when I was younger.  

My new fear, isn't one that is tangible.  I can't define it in one way or another except my fear now is that something is going to happen to my boys.   You know when your kids are babies and every possible scenario goes through your head?  'Oh they may choke on that!'  Or remember the fear when they went to the bathroom publicly for the first time and you watch everyone going in and time how long it should be and at what point you are bursting through the bathroom doors no matter what..!    This really can't be just me, other have to know what it's like too...right?

I thought when they get older this fear will go away, but if anything the fear has increased, because now I'm less in control of the factors of their lives...  In a year my oldest will be driving, and then there's a whole new set of intense fear.

I still fear someone will hurt them, physically or otherwise.  My love for them knows no bounds, as well as this fear that I will see them hurt.    The world is a cruel, dangerous place and at age 18 we are throwing our children to the wolves...not necessarily...but...

The rational side of me knows they will be ok but the protective motherly side of me says, what's wrong with sheltering them until they are 50!?  

Thankful

I'm sure like most other people during this time of year, I begin to think of all I'm thankful for.

The obvious comes to mind...my family, my freedom, my health. But on further introspection, I find I'm thankful for so much and I don't even realize let alone appreciate the many blessings I have been given.  

It always surprises me a little when I sit and think of all the little things that meshed together are my life, and how my Heavenly Father is in fact watching over and interceding on my behalf.  I'm just a small piece of a gigantic puzzle of this world, to feel loved and individualized is truely awe inspiring.  

If Heavenly Father can make the time to love all of us, I can certainly make the time for another, right?   And it isn't that hard to do either, because it's the little things, the smiles to others, the little acts of service to a stranger, the smallest of moments that we can make a difference. 

ᕼᗩᑭᑭy Tᕼᗩᑎkᔕgiᐯiᑎg...

United We Stand Concert

Collin's 3rd grade class, along with several other 3rd grade classes in several other schools in the district had an evening of singing and entertainment. It was dedicated to Veterans Day. It was very patriotic and moving to watch all the kids singing.

Cregan turns 12

In my church, turning 12 is important.  It's when you graduate per say from the kiddie group and move up to the youth program.  If you are a girl that means going to Young Woman's, if you are a boy you receive the Aaronic Priesthood and start going to Young Men's.   

My Cregan turned 12 and received his priesthood from his PaPa and this week he got to pass the sacrament for the 1st time.  I sat in my seat, so apprehensive for him passing the sacrament, he was so nervous!  But he did well as I suspected he would and then sat at the front of the church to be the Bishop's messenger, if he needed anything.  It made me proud to see him up there. Being the middle child is rough, he never gets anything first, and all my last events are made into a production because I know it will be the last of something.  So I wanted to make him feel special at his birthday  party  this year!

I ordered a Game Truck.  It's basically a really nice trailor truck with tons of games and flat screens in it and he invited 10 of his closest friends to come hang out with him for 2 hours and played video games, he was in HEAVEN!

I'm so grateful for my wise, funny, loveable, middle child.  He brings me so much joy.  

Football

So this happened... My 8th grader is now in football.  He is so athletic!  I love to see him on the field, makes me nervous and excited all mixed up.  Clayton is taller than me now, and Cregan is just about even with me.  How fast time is flying with my big guys!

20 year anniversary

On August 12, 1995, I married my best friend.  As I sit back 20 years later, I think of all the good times and the bad and the funny and the sad.  I'm wonderfully blessed to have met this beautiful man, and extremely lucky that he loves me as much as I love him.  Although circumstances didn't allow us to celebrate our anniversary like I would have liked to, it was still a wonderful evening spent with a absolutely wonderful man.  

Starting Middle School

Cregan started the 6th grade!   He has a locker and is now in the band.  He changes classes and wants to try to join the student council!!  When did this happen?? When did my baby boy turn old enough for this?!  I can't wait to see what this guy ends up becoming, he is amazing in each and every way, except OFCOURSE unless he is yelling, beating up or criticizing his younger brother.

Concerts

I love concerts, there's something about seeing someone singing live that is magical to me.  I don't know if it's the energy of the crowd and being part of that or just the mere fact that I'm seeing some of my favorite songs sung by some of my favorite singers...who knows.  But not everyone shares my love of concerts, one of those people is my husband. In fact everytime I try to talk him into going to a concert he says, why? I can just turn on my music and listen to them and not have to be around all those people.  

So I'm extremely lucky that I have good friends that share my love of concerts and will go with me!  This year I've been to 2 excellent concerts and secretly hoping there will be even more concerts before the end of 2015.  The first concert was in Cincinnati to see the Zac Brown Band, and they were great!  I love country music again, primarily because of that band.  I went with my good friends Angel and Dana (and her boyfriend).  So much fun!

The next concert I went to was a week later and surprised me in that it quickly became my all time favorite concert to date.  My good friend Sophie really wanted to go see the Rolling Stones and I primarily agreed just so I could hang with her.  Kid Rock was the opening act and I love him, in fact at one point he had the audience all on our feet.  He was playing a patriot song and said, I love this country and I'm proud to be an American, and I'd like to introduce to you the most decorated member of the military, the man who killed Osama Bin Laden, it was unexpected but chilling at the same time!  After Kid Rock came the main act, and Mick Jagger and Keith Richards were A-Mazing!!  That is even tonght of a word, it was so great!   To make the concert even better, it was outside at OSU football stadium called the shoe.  There were fireworks and lighting, there are just no words!  

I'm outta here

My sweet middle child, he is curious and perceptive and smart and loving and kind of a know it all, on an adorable way of course and now he is an official Middle Schooler!  Wow!  

Emerson Magnet School does what they call a "clap out".   The last day of school the entire front of the school is covered with posters that parents hAve made for their kids.  Then around 3 o'clock, all the younger children come on to the back playground and the parents who want to attend as well and then they have the 5th graders come out by class, all of them are wearing white tshirts with the name of their middle school they will be attending the following school year.   It's pretty emotional and touching, the children will come forward and are clapped out by the other students.   They got to come forward and saw what memory they liked best from this year.     Cregans memory was Biz Town.    And....P.S. He wants to be a lawyer!

Mother's Day

Sunday was Mother's Day and as always it's a bittersweet holiday for me.  I love being a mom, it's been the most fulfilling, yet most difficult thing I've ever done.  However not having my own mom around, it's as if I'm missing something (part of my heart) and most days I don't realize it, I go about my daily life not thinking of the saddeness I feel but then annually Mother's Day comes around and WHAM there's the slap of reality and I'm suddenly overcome with heart ache.  

I realize that I was fortunate in that I call my mom one of my best friends, I told her everything about my life, she was a great listener, and an amazing mom.  So when the day rolls around, I withdrawal a little from others, I don't mean to but I realize I do.   It's still after all these years a tender moment for me.  

Happy Mother's Day mom